How is Your Wheel of Life?

wheel-life-thinking-chartA seminar I attended introduced me to the concept of a “Wheel of Life.” I LOVED IT!

What is the “Wheel of Life“? In short, it’s life balance. It’s all the areas of your life that contribute to your happiness and well-being. The theory is simple. You have contentment when these areas are in balance or going well. You have sleepless nights, headaches and misery when the wheel is out of balance.

So what makes up the wheel? There are several systems out there. Zig Ziglar’s wheel has the following parts:

  1. Career
  2. Financial
  3. Spiritual
  4. Physical
  5. Intellectual
  6. Family

I found another wheel by Brendon Baker. From the website, “The Start of Happiness,” he has these parts on his wheel:

  1. Physical Environment
  2. Business / Career
  3. Finances
  4. Health
  5. Family and Friends
  6. Romance
  7. Personal Growth
  8. Fun and Recreation

I’ll show one more example. An example that’s a little different. On the website, “Mind Tools,“ the wheel has this set of parts:

  1. Partner
  2. Mother/Father
  3. Manager
  4. Colleague
  5. Team Member
  6. Sports Player
  7. Community Leader
  8. Friend
  9. Career/Work
  10. Health

As I said, there are a lot of systems out there and a lot of wheels. I love the concept of life balance and the constant battle to keep it in balance. I’m adding this concept to my blog. Most people fail at the balance thing. I figure the more information I have, the better my chances at contentment. Why not share as I do the research?

Thanks for reading CAPM and More!

The Traits of a Real Man

dreamstime-personal-trainer-at-the-gymI listened to an old episode of The DoubleX Gabfest Podcast (now called “The Waves”, 09/18/2014). One of the topics was a discussion on an article in BuzzFeed. The article was “28 Ways to Spot a Real Man.” This got me thinking … What are the standards for a ‘real man’?

Urban Dictionary has several definitions for the phase a real man. The closest I would agree with is, “A Real Man The thing that makes a man a man, is courage. Not just the courage to fight, but the courage to fight for what is right. A real man has the strength to admit to, who and what he is. A real man doesn’t run from his feelings. A real man isn’t afraid to love.

 

I did a simple Google search for “real man” and found a bunch of articles on the subject:

  1. Traits of A Real Man (AskMen.com)
  2. The 20 Defining Traits Of The Real Modern Man (Elite Daily)
  3. 10 Ways to Know You’re Dating a Real Man (Huffington Post)
  4. 4 Qualities That Make A Real Man (MindBodyGreen.com)
  5. 20 Characteristics of a Real Man (Chadhowsefitness.com)

My favorites traits from all the articles include:

  • “He knows how to show his son that it’s OK to be different.” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man)
  • “A guy who knows his way around the kitchen. (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man) – I would add … “or can afford an excellent restaurant.”
  • “A real man knows that doing good is its own reward.” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man)
  • “And isn’t afraid to admit when he is wrong.” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man)
  • “A real man knows how to be a good winner…but an even better runner-up.” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man)
  • “A real man knows how important it is to make a girl feel like a princess.” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man)
  • “A real man is a good father…” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man) – This goes with the saying, “Anyone Can Be A Father But It Takes A Real Man To Be A Dad.”
  • “A real man looks out for others…” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man)
  • “…and always keeps his word.” (28 Ways to Spot a Real Man) – Another way to put it … “A Real Man’s Word Is His Bond” (Traits of A Real Man)
  • “A Real Man Can Defend Himself” (Traits of A Real Man) – Another way to put it … “A man doesn’t need to be able to fight or to protect himself and his family physically. But it helps. He does however need to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep his family safe and happy.” (20 Characteristics of a Real Man)
  • “A Real Man Keeps His House In Order” (Traits of A Real Man)
  • “A Real Man Takes Care Of His Appearance” (Traits of A Real Man)
  • “A Real Man Doesn’t Gossip” (Traits of A Real Man) – Another way to put it … “When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.” ~ Louis Nizer (20 Characteristics of a Real Man)
  • “Real men are passionate about something — and it’s not just weed or their new Nikes.” (The 20 Defining Traits Of The Real Modern Man) – Another way to put it … “Men have a cause.” (4 Qualities That Make A Real Man)
  • “Real men don’t need to make fun of other guys to boost their own self-confidence, but they can definitely make fun of themselves.” (The 20 Defining Traits Of The Real Modern Man)
  • “Real men have goals; they might seem lofty or completely absurd, but they’re working toward something, and that’s what matters.” (The 20 Defining Traits Of The Real Modern Man)
  • Men take action. (The 20 Defining Traits Of The Real Modern Man)
  • A man treats women with respect. If you don’t respect women, you’re not a man. Period. (20 Characteristics of a Real Man)
  • A man can laugh at himself. (20 Characteristics of a Real Man)
  • A man has fears, but he isn’t ruled by them. (20 Characteristics of a Real Man)
  • A man learns from his mistakes. Although he might take a few cracks at it. (20 Characteristics of a Real Man)

Well, that’s my list from the articles above. What would you add or remove?

Thanks for reading CAPM and More!

It’s Not the Kite, It’s the Air

I love the song “Happy” by Pharrell Williams! I can’t help dancing every time I hear it! I like it so much, I bought the song for my iPod and the video for my iPad. Once, the song came over the intercom while I was eating dinner with three friends in a restaurant. All four of us started dancing in our chairs. The song just makes you, well … happy.

I watched an interview with Pharrell Williams on CBS Sunday Morning. During the interview, Pharrell said something I’ve been thinking about a lot. He was asked, “Are you afraid if you give yourself too much credit, it would all go away?”

Pharrell’s answer, “For sure. You see people spin out of control like that all the time. I mean, those are the most tragic stories, the most gifted people who start to believe it’s really all them. It’s not all you. It can’t be all you. Just like you need air to fly a kite, it’s not the kite. It’s the air.”

What a perfect?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? metaphor … “It’s not the kite, it’s the air.” Ego check. Happiness and success are rarely achieved alone. Each is produced with the help, support, and patience of the people around you. You should thank them for it from time to time.

I’m posting this the day after the Thanksgiving holiday in the US. A good time for anyone to look at their life and assess. As I look at my life. Let me tell my wife, family, and friends … THANK YOU!!! … for your help, support and bountiful patience! If I’m a kite … they’re the air. Thank you to my readers as well. If this blog is a kite, you’re the air!

Thanks for reading CAPM and More!

Start the Next Chapter of Your Life (Quote)

599a4e251b6623aa46e7409004b38f18You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” – Unknown

It’s a great quote because it explains the concept in simple terms … reading and chapters. It’s easy to translate to what I think is its true meaning … thinking forward or thinking backward.

Are you a backward thinker or a forward thinker? Re-reading the last chapter is focusing on the past and the mistakes you’ve made. Stop that! You can stay stuck in the past or move on. You can’t change the past, so the choice is clear … or it should be. Be a forward thinker. What are your GOALS, not your MISTAKES? Where do you want to be in the future? How do you get there? Make a plan. Focus on that.  Start the next chapter.

Thanks for reading CAPM and More!

Ask Yourself, How Much Time, Money and Energy?

time-money-energyAre you thinking about starting a new project, joining a new club or learning a new hobby? Are you always being asked to serve as a volunteer, on a board or committee? The first question you should ask yourself is how much time, money, and energy will this cost? Make sure you have a good idea of the actual costs before you say yes.

How much time? How much time does the commitment require? Are there meetings to attend (weekly, monthly, quarterly, etc.)? How long are the meetings? Are the meetings during the workday, after hours or on the weekend? In addition to meetings, how much time does the average person spend reviewing documents or working on tasks between meetings? You want to make sure you have a complete count of the time needs vs. your availability. Time is valuable. You only get 24 hours daily minus sleep. Protect it! Say no if it requires too much time.

How much money? Will you be required to pay dues, fees or make donations? Will you have to buy tickets to anything (an annual gala, conferences, concerts, shows or games, etc.)? Are there other expenses? Do you have to contribute to a soup kitchen, food drive, shelter supply closet, or team uniforms? Will you have to travel? Small costs can add up quickly. Can you afford it all?

I served on a board once that served a lite meal at each board meeting. The committees took turns providing the food. If it was my committee’s turn, I had to share in the cost. Also, I had to make an annual donation plus the price of tickets to two events each year. Bottom line – try to get a realistic idea of the costs for the commitment. I have seen good people forced to resign or stop a commitment due to the financial burden. Say no if it requires too much money.

How much energy? This is the hardest one of all. Most people don’t think about energy cost. Have you heard the saying, “A meeting of the minds but the minds didn’t show.” Well each of us has a finite amount of mental energy to spend each day. All commitments require mental energy. Sometimes, a lot of mental energy! It’s important to show up to commitments with a clear, well-rested mind. If you’re asked to serve on a committee or board, they want you to do more than show up and keep the chair warm. Don’t forget to add stress to mental energy for a total score. Say no if the mental score is too high.

Why did I write this? There are always needs to serve on committees, boards, sports teams, church groups and the like. It’s a great way to learn, grow, network, give back or make a difference. However, I have seen people get involved in projects and it not work out. In most cases, the relationship failed due to a misunderstanding of time, money or energy commitments. I don’t want it to happen to you.

 

Thanks for reading CAPM and More!

Do You Know Your VP’s?

the-vps-2A very long time ago, I was given a chance to attend a training class called “How to Set Priorities.” It was a one day class (seminar really), held in a ballroom with 100 or 150 people. It was one of the best courses I ever attended!!!

The speaker covered many concepts. I think the most potent was the VP’s. This idea made such an impression on me that I still talk about it to this day! The speaker said that everyone you meet in your career and in your life will fit into one or more of four types (or VP’s). The VP’s are VIP, VTP, VNP, and VDP.

VIP = Very Important Person – In this context, a VIP is not necessarily the president of your company or a celebrity. A VIP is anyone that is helping you in life. It is anyone that supports you or gives you good advice. The VIP has your best interests at heart. Your family and your closest friends are VIP’s. The professionals that back you in life (your coach, accountant, lawyer, and the head of your church) are all VIP’s to you. These are your supporters when trouble hits or your rescuers when you get into trouble.

At work, VIP’s are all the people who help with your career, such as your business advisor or mentor. Any boss that will send you to training or other professional development is a VIP. Anyone that is “in the know” and can supply you with useful information. After all, knowledge is power in business and your career. All these people are VIP’s.

My point is this … find and keep as many VIP’s as possible in your life! Your happiness, success, and ability to deal with problems are enhanced by the number of VIP’s you have in your life.

VTP = Very Teachable Person – To be a good leader, you must learn to delegate. To be a successful leader, you must learn to delegate to the right people! The right people are the VTP’s. VTP’s are people who are good at getting things done. VTP’s are fast learners, keep their promises and need little supervision. VTP’s are the people you recruit to your team when you get a promotion or call to help get tasks done for a project. Always be on the lookout for more VTP’s.

VNP = Very Nice Person – Everyone has friendly neighbors and friendly co-workers. Everyone has lovely friends you see once a month for lunch. The person who serves coffee at the coffee shop may be a nice person. These people make life more enjoyable. You need people to talk to about last night’s football game or play card games with or go to the movies. Nice people are good to have around.

The thing to remember is you must have a balance. Most people in life are nice. As a result, nice people can easily take up all your time. If you’re retired, that’s OK. If you’re trying to build a career, be careful here! At work, you can damage a promising career this way. If you spend to much time at the water cooler talking to nice people, you can get labeled as a slacker. Remember, VIP’s and VTP’s get it done and get promoted. VNP’s do not.

VDP = Very Depressing (or Draining) Person – These are the complainers, the drama queens, and angry people. Life is negative for them. They come in several forms. The VDP is sad. The VDP is rude. The VDP always has a new problem and wants to talk about it for hours. There is always DRAMA! The real danger is a VDP seeks to recruit you as a VDP as well! They want you to be negative WITH THEM. Don’t let this happen! You must wish them well, hope they someday find true happiness and let them go. To live a successful and happy life, you must keep the number of people in this category VERY small. Don’t let negative people rent space in your head. Their negative energy will bring you down and cause you stress! Stay away from VDP’s!

Well, that’s it … the VP’s. VIP (Very Important Person) / VTP (Very Teachable Person) / VNP (Very Nice Person) / VDP (Very Draining Person).

Thanks for reading CAPM and More!

Do It Anyway (Quote)

“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world your best and it may never be enough;
Give the world your best anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”

– by Mother Theresa