Good wisdom lasts forever. I posted this on one of my old blogs in 2011. It applies today as much as it did then . . .
From “How to Take Feedback” by Karen Wright
Psychology Today Magazine, March/April 2011
- Always lead with questions: How do you think you’re doing? It gives the recipient joint ownership of the problem and helps him feel included, not excluded.
- Never give criticism unless it’s been invited; unsolicited negative feedback only provokes annoyance and will be discounted.
- Make sure you are seen as having the authority to give corrective feedback. Criticism from those perceived as peers or unqualified to give it incites resistance and rebellion.
- Distinguish whether a demand for change reflects your needs or is a valid critique of how someone is doing something. Know when “You’re too demanding” really means “I wish I felt more accepted.”
- Never give feedback when you’re angry; anger alienates the listener. Expressing disappointment is more productive.
- Know who you’re talking to. Narcissists take any criticism as a personal attack; the insecure lose all self-esteem.
- Know yourself, too. If you’re relatively insensitive to criticism, curb the tendency to be heavy-handed when delivering it, says Cacioppo, who counts himself among the less sensitive.
- Expect defensiveness as a first response to criticism; a change in performance may come later.
Please read the full article here.
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